Cooking FAIL

Soooo, I had a major cooking FAIL yesterday that I didn't have a chance to post about. It's almost too embarrassing to put out there - I haven't screwed up much food lately (used to in BIG ways, but I've gotten much better). It was when I was cooking some Pillsbury garlic crescent rolls. How in the heck can you screw those up? Well, after they were finished, I pulled them out of the oven and tossed them on top of the stove to let them cool for a few minutes.

Next thing I know I smell something burning and look back to the stove - somehow the back burner was on (either I nudged it on with the pan accidentally or I forgot to turn it off when I was cooking the meat for the ziti). The heat conducted through the metal baking sheet and it totally burnt all of my crescent rolls. I love those darn rolls and when I saw them crispy black on the bottom I thought I could salvage them and just eat the top halves...well, that was FAIL #2. I took a bite of the top half and of course the nasty char-grilled flavor had seeped its way through the entire thing. All of them ended up in the trash. ::sigh::

Like I said, I used to be an awful cook...the butt of all cooking jokes in my family.

• There was the time my sister and I made chocolate chip cookies and I forgot to add in the flour - a completely runny mess.
• There was the time I mixed up salt and sugar (1/2 a cup of salt did seem like a tad too much at the time, but what did I know?). 
• There was the vodka pasta sauce that got me tanked after the bowl of spaghetti was finished (I thought cooking with alcohol burns the booze off?). 
• There was the crockpot chicken that was supposed to be cooked in sherry (which I thought was red wine), and I didn't have any, so I cooked it in merlot. It turned purple. That was way off.  Sherry is white wine, by the way.

Oh, lord, so many more dishes I've destroyed (coq au vin, chicken marsala - this is why I hate cooking chicken, by the way)...I could go on and on and on. So, even as you read all these blog posts and think to yourself, "gee, Erica can cook a helluva meal," please remember that I can really screw up a meal, too! Make me feel better - *please* share YOUR food fails with me.